


Mantis

by inar68



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Animal Gore, Animal Metaphors, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Repression, Nonbinary Character, Other, Panic Attacks, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, implied past abusive relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27937057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inar68/pseuds/inar68
Summary: Bugsy projects too much on the only thing they've ever known to explain away their emotions, but it makes them so scared of what comes next.
Relationships: Tsukushi | Bugsy/Viola
Kudos: 1





	Mantis

They can't believe they're letting themself cry, but before they could've hoped to stop it, they're doing it. They haven't genuinely cried in front of someone in so long. They try so hard to always say they're fine. They're great, as always. And right now, they're not even upset. These waterworks are a fluke. Maybe they could even get away with 'there's something in my eyes' if they weren't being so theatrical. But oh, who are they kidding?

For all their time spent ensuring they know everything, they know nothing at all right now. The only thing they know is they're crying full body sobs in the arms of someone they love, tears burning their face as they seep into her shirt while they cling to her like the child everyone still thinks they are. Finally letting it all loose hurts like the worst possible misfire of a Twineedle and yet it feels like they've never needed to be stung so badly in their life, which is an accomplishment in and of itself.

And she's holding them tight and they're squeezing back even tighter at how infuriatingly right it feels to admit they feel at all. It feels so good, it makes everything feel like it's going to be okay for real for once. So they squeeze tighter.

And tighter. And tighter still. Until their blades start cutting in, ripping this perfect specimen of a Vivillon to shreds and yet they can't stop, they need to eat… -

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

"What are you sorry for? I'm still here. I've got you." She pets their hair, softly shushing them and showing she still loves them and she's alive and all in one immaculate piece and Ho-oh's flames she's beautiful…

And they cry even more. They don't deserve her.

"Cutiefly, what are you still so afraid of?"

"I'm never going to be picture perfect. I don't know how to be." They barely recognize that as their own voice. Why is it shaking and cracking like they've finally up and forgotten how to breathe?

"A shot doesn't have to be perfectly staged to become one of my favorites." Just like that, their heart flutters so intensely it may as well be audibly buzzing. That's the sweetest response they could hear from her. The most genuine, straight from her heart and accurate thing, and she thought it up in the time it takes her to snap a flash. 

And yet… "I love you so much. And that's exactly what I'm afraid of."

"You're afraid of love?" As she asks, those enchanted forests that she has the nerve to pass off as eyes lock with dead, wilted lilacs that haven't rested thoroughly in days in favor of research. Or moreso just a comforting and familar distraction from their otherwise confusing reality at this point, as if they'd ever admit such a thing.

But they shiver all the way up their spine they often forget they have at how real and wonderful this particular moment is. No, they're not afraid of love, they're so hopelessly in love with her. They want her to hold them like this forever, or at least not let go until happier times when they're not bawling their terrified little heart out. Yet they're also wishing they'd feel that agonizing throb of poison again if only so they'll get the common sense to abandon this particular study for a while to go nurse their wounds. 

Because they don't know how to be this enamored with something with internal bones without a paralyzing fear they'll hurt the feelings that more complicated setup comes with. Because she's so much more than an experiment to support a thesis paper, and deserves better than they believe they could ever give her, no matter what she says. But while she's so much more captivating than even the most magnificent Vivillon, and they also certainly aren't just a hungry Scyther who conveniently found a mate, that's the language they're both more fluent in than anyone ought to be. 

And even after catching their breath they still have no idea what else to say, so the gruesome metaphor will have to do. "Not exactly. The aftermath. It all ending in me eating you alive."

**Author's Note:**

> you ever cant sleep bc the past few days have been a waking nightmare so you write a fic about a character you project on also projecting
> 
> me too and i like the results but i need to not replicate them and go tf to sleep next time


End file.
